Dear
İrem,
First
of all, I really enjoy reading your journal.The way you explained what you
think about the slogan really attracts me. Contextually and meaningly, I found
no mistake. But grammatically, a mistake caught my eye. It is in your first
sentence>> ''universitys'' There must be an apostrophe between ''y'' and
''s''. But I believe that it is not resulted from your lack of knowledge. It
may be resulted from the font you chose. Anyway, you are really good at writing
and I'm gonna foloow your next journals. Congratulations İrem :)
Dear
Dilek,
To
begin with, your writing style honestly appeals to me. I have never watched
this TV series,but after reading your entry,it seems to me that it is worth
watching for once.Your journal is contextually explanatory and
comprehensive.However grammatically,there are some mistakes. I wanna arrange
them in order;
1)'' I
think it is a good idea to write an entry about 'Doctor Who' as it is one of my
favourite tv serials.''>>>> missing punctuation.
2)'' TV serials''>>>
word choice.
3)''fondness to''>>>
preposition mistake.
4)''rights wrongs''>>>
word choice.
5)''Furthermore
he has the ability to regenerate his body when he die''>>>
missing punctuation & verb mistake.
6)''he can have''>>>
word choice.(it is better to use ''be able to'')
7)''In
the beginning. it was both difficult and irritating''>>> punctuation
mistake.
Dear
Nurullah,
I see that you are really interested in social issues
and you reflect it to your journal. This topic should be what we interested
in,as well. As for your explanations below the video,I could not find serious mistakes; but
if I am to mention,some of your word choices are faulty.For example; ''looking
for rights''. In my opinion,it is
better to use ''demand justice'' or ''seek one's
rights.'' Another one is ; ''students are working several companies''.There
must be a preposition before ''several companies''. Also, ''in the beginnings''
is a kind of spelling mistake. Except these mistakes, I can honestly say that
you are competent on how to write a compherensive text. I really like your
journal and the video you shared with us. I hope I will have a chance to watch
this film. Congratulations! :)
Dear Arif,
Actually I do
not follow Leyla and Mecnun;but I have watched it several times.As you said, it
contains both funny and sad scenes.Additionally,it is among the best TV series
in Turkey. As for your journal,I should say that I like your explanation and
the video. You really chose a nice scene from Leyla and Mecnun;but it would be
better if you wrote a bit longer.In addition, instead of ''among'', you should use another preposition.Also, in
this sentence;''This universe is where he has very bad luck,leave his home,go
to the Germany.'' there are some grammatical mistakes. I prefer not to tell
them,because;when you look at the sentence once more, you directly notice and
correct them. One more grammatical mistake is in your last sentence;missing
punctuation. I believe that your mistakes are not resulted from your lack of
knowledge, but attention. Thanks for your sharing Arif :)
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