Dear İrem,
I really need to express that your style is so good. The
way you begin your journal makes us focus on the topic. You are interested in
gymnastics and actually do it recently. So as I understand,you are interested
in the topic you write,as well. There is not a big problem about your grammar
and method. But I need to talk about some minor mistakes. First of all, ''you can do other sports easier.'' If I'm not mistaking,it must
be ''more easily''. '' it leads you know'' > ''It leads you TO know.''
Except for two mistakes,I did not notice any mistake. I hope to see your next
journals. Congratulations İrem :)
http://inci010911.blogspot.com/2013/06/journal-entry-6-article-raport-talk-and.html
http://inci010911.blogspot.com/2013/06/journal-entry-6-article-raport-talk-and.html
Dear İnci,
I have read your journal and really like it. You explained
the topic in detail and it appeals to me a lot. I appreciate the way you wrote
your journal. Some minor punctuation mistakes can occur. I wanna to show you
your mistakes that I noticed. ''For
instance, they share secrets. relate experiences, reveal problems and discuss
options and these are necessary for their development.'' Here is a
punctuation mistake especially about full stop and comma. I believe you are
already aware of it and you can easily correct it. Except for this sentence, I
did not notice any problem about your journal. You are really good at writing.
Congra İnci :)
Dear Ebru,
Firstly, I watched the video you uploaded. It maked me
smile because we are all so :) It can be definitely said that you are good at
writing and expressing the ideas you hold.However, I wanna show you some
mistakes that you made. ''In
this animation video, our addiction to the Internet displays explicitly. '' I
got what you tried to say,but your sentence should be like that : ''In this
animation video, our addiction to the Internet is displayed explicitly.'' But of course it is
not because of your lack of knowledge. In addition to this mistake, in one of
your sentences, you wrote ''two of them''. But ''both of them'' would be
better. It is about your word choice. Except for these two mistakes,your
journal is excellent :) I hope to see your next journals and I really
appreciate you :)
Dear Osman,
Your journal is
really informative and thanks to you, I got more information about Kenan
Sofuoğlu. He is really successful and you emphasized on it well. In spite fo
your good writing,there some mistakes that should be corrected.First of all, ''He won lots of races
and cups since then.'' Here is a grammatical mistake. As you know,if your
sentence contains ''since then'',you should use perfect tense. In additiın, in
your sentence : ''After he won the
championship in 2010 he wore the Ottoman Bladder'', there is a punctuation
mistake. You should put a comma between two sentences. Also,you should correct
this sentence in terms of punctuation and spelling.>''He says because winners wear or do sth about their
culture I decide to wear this bladder.'' Last mistake is in this sentence;''He lost his brother in 2002 than 2008 he lost his
other brother and in 2010 he lost his father. '' You had better correct again
your spelling. Except for them,I appreciate the way you expressed your ideas
and congratulations Osman :)
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